Collaborative divorce can change a relationship without ending it

It is often taken for granted that a divorcing couple cannot stand one another – that fighting is predictable and inevitable. But while many divorces take this tone (for obvious reasons), some are far more peaceful. Former couples want to remain friends and co-parents, but they just don’t want to be married to each other anymore.

For marriages ending peacefully and on relatively good terms, collaborative divorce is an ideal scenario. Unlike litigated divorce, which is adversarial by nature, collaborative divorce typically allows couples to remain on good terms throughout the process so that they can transition to a new kind of relationship with one another post-divorce.

In a recent news article, one couple was interviewed at length about their decision to engage in collaborative divorce. One of the benefits they discussed was how it spared their teenage children from what could otherwise be a stressful and acrimonious divorce process. They chose to have the mother stay in the marital residence with the children. The father moved out but now lives nearby.

The couple also readily admits that while collaborative divorce worked for them, it is not right for everyone – including some of their own friends. If spouses go in with a mindset of “winning” the divorce or if they want to deviate too far from an equitable split of assets, disputes may need to be resolved in court.

If you are considering divorce, it is wise to assess all of your options before choosing a strategy. By consulting with an experienced family law attorney in your area, you will be better equipped to decide which divorce approach best fits your situation.

about the author

Gray Ellis

Gray Ellis is the founder and managing partner of Ellis Family Law, where he leads the firm’s vision, strategy, and continued commitment to serving families across North Carolina with clarity and care. With over two decades of experience in family law, Gray brings a deep understanding of the legal, emotional, and practical challenges clients face during divorce, custody matters, and other major family transitions. Today, his role focuses on guiding the firm’s growth, mentoring attorneys, strengthening client experience, and ensuring Ellis Family Law provides the thoughtful, high-level representation for which they are known. His leadership reflects a belief that family law should be strategic, compassionate, and centered on helping clients move forward with confidence and dignity.
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